Chapter 1: The Soggy Bottle

Well, this past Thursday our virgins had their first forays into the unpredictable and exciting world of Dungeons and Dragons. Andy was sick and the weather was crappy, so Ranger Rick did not make an appearance. However, we decided to press on anyway, because I hate waiting.

So here is what I was thinking: I know that the first few weeks are going to be a little clunky, so for our first meet, I wanted to make sure I gave them enough time to make their decisions and discuss options for combat, but not spend too much time on the nitpicking of rules, making it more of a drag than fun. I think that we managed to balance that out just fine.

Our rugged adventurers: Abélard de la Sonnerie, the curious bard; Alric Anklebiter, the husky barbarian; and Biff Jesus, the nomadic sorcerer; all met at this place called The Soggy Bottle. The Soggy Bottle is the inn closest to the docks in the port town of Stonesong. Stonesong (See, it's that little dot at the tip) is located in the Cape of Sirens, which is part of the Western Kingdoms of the expansive Elgrian Empire. Every PC came to The Cape of Sirens for a different reason, but there is no doubt that the rumors of mystery, intrigue, and adventure were a big draw.

Alric was stationed at the bar, receiving dirty looks from the Bottle's ample-bodied and amply haired proprietress, Salty Sneed. Abelard was entertaining some sailors while Biff looked on, equipped in his jedi-style robe. Suddenly, a drunken thug approached Biff (whom the PCs later learnt was named Roscoe) and accused him of owing money to somebody named Dom Flario. Of course, a fight broke out, and our guys immediately got their first taste of combat.

Alric didn't even fly into a rage, but started hacking at the thugs like Patrick Bateman through prostitutes. Biff managed to crowd control and also do some damage. Abelard made some attempts for combat, but was incapacitated by a rogueish thug early in the round. He could only lie helpless on a table, and he eventually fell unconscious from blood loss. I was actually rolling quite poorly, except for the time my rogue critted and shanked the crap out of Abelard. Eventually, Alric and Biff were able to take the guys down, with the aid of an angry Salty Sneed.

Lessons Learnt:
1. The power of "Grease." Grease is a level one spell. It can either be targetted or area of effect, and can severely cripple your enemies rendering them pretty useless if they fail a reflex save. Biff incapacitated Roscoe and another thug for a round with this spell, saving his, and possibly Abelard's, lives. The party also discovered that it can render their allies useless. When Alric went over to take a swing at a greased up thug, he ran right into the area of effect, and consequently fell on his dwarven arse for a round.
2. Critical Threats. Alric rolled a natural twenty, which translates into a critical threat. He then confirmed his critical hit with a roll of 17, successfully decapitating his enemy with massive two handed damage. Criticals are powerful things.
3. Loot. Since this was their first game, as a DM I felt compelled to explain the importance of looting. They were about to walk out of that tavern without checking the bodies of their attackers, and doing so, they would have missed a small vial of liquid that one of the sneaky thugs was carrying. I'm pretty sure I won't have to remind them again, and whether I will have to will not be an issue, because I won't.

After this, the town guard showed up, lead by the Headsworn Guard, Frandrew Oakensword. Oakenshield was pleased that they got rid of the thugs, but also let them know that due to the violent nature of incapacitating them, (The thugs were all lying dead in pools of blood) that they would have to do him a favor to have this scuffle swept under the rug. After Abelard was picked up and healed by a cleric in the guard, the crew set out to meet Lord Smythlei, the ruling noble on the Cape of Sirens.

The crew doesn't know much about the Smythlei family, only that they have claims to this territory that trace back hundreds of years. The hardy adventurers were brought to Castle Stonetop and were introduced to Lord Smythlei, a portly man with a comb-over and chubby hands. They discovered that not only was his daughter, Ivella, to be married next week to the son of the Lord of the Fingers, but that she had run off that morning, insistent on stopping her upcoming nuptials. Generous man that Smythlei is, he offered the party fifty gold each to track her down, and bring her alive.

Earlier in the evening, I had to explain the importance of looting. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find them ready and eager to negotiate for more of a reward without prompt. Biff was the first one to open his mouth, asking for more money. I told him to make a diplomacy check, and he did. Unfortunately, he rolled very poorly, and as it turned out, when Biff opened his mouth to speak to Lord Smythlei, he accidentally spit right on his face. Smythlei was visibly grossed out. Smooth talking Abelard attempted to put things right, and used his verbal prowess to try and smooth things out. However, before he could even open his mouth, he tripped over his own two feet and awkwardly stumbled. (He rolled a 1, making his diplomacy very low on a check that was moderately difficult) You can imagine my chuckles, and the laughs of the rest of the party. Alric just gave the guy a thumbs up, Apparently he didn't want to risk anything with his 3 charisma. I do commend them on their effort. They're playing like veterans already! That's where we wrapped for the night.

Lessons Learnt:
1. Rolling a 1. Traditionally, rolling a 1 means a critical failure in combat. However, there are times when rolling a one for a skill check can also have quasi-disastrous results. I don't think all DMs do this, but I do. It doesn't have to be life-threatening, but can provide entertainment and general hilarity. I see rolling a 1 in a non-combat situation is almost like something out of the PCs control happened to make this go so badly. It was very fun to have a crew understand he impact of a low roll early on in the game.
2. Whatever you say, your character is saying. There were a few times when Evan just talked aloud without thinking when it came to character interaction, and it influenced the game as if it were Biff saying it. I think it might take a little bit for him to make this adjustment. Much to my happiness.

I expect to cover more storyline in the future. Combat took a little bit of time because everyone is just starting to get the hang of it. I'm not in a hurry. I know at least one of my PCs had a good time. Evan sent me a text this week saying that he bought his first set of dice, but he couldn't decide, so he bought two. I officially have a convert.

We got a bard, meet Abélard!

Well, this past week, we got good news and bad. The bad news, Biff, our sorcerer, could not come because he was jet-lagged from his trip to Paris. Yeah. So obviously I wasn't going to start the campaign with someone missing. The good news = We got a new player. Todd's neighbor, Fred, used to play D&D back in the day! So we got him all set up.

As Fred flipped through the PHB, he decided that he wanted to play a class that he had never played before. He initially wanted to be a druid. Now, I think that druids have potential to be really cool characters. They get a bit of pizazz and can be pretty versatile. However, for a first time player (or a returning player from long ago), set in a campaign of complete newbs, it's not ideal. Druids can get complicated: with spell-lists, an animal companion, and wildshape abilities, the character sheet more resembles a character pamphlet.

As a DM, my worst fear is letting my own prejudices influence the decisions of my players, and in turn, their player characters. I don't want my own bias to get in the way of someone playing the kind of character that they want, EVEN if they want to play an extremely annoying, self-righteous paladin. (Yuck.) I explained this to Fred, and added that if he really wanted to play a druid, I would help him get it all figured out. Luckily, for both of us, Fred also has some interest in music, lore, and tale-telling, so he decided to go with bard instead. Hooray! I love bards. I also think that for a first time player, bards make a nice class. They have a broad skillset, and make for fun role-playing opportunities. They also add a little bit of flair and can often set the tone for public relations.

Player: Fred
Character name: Abélard de la Sonnerie
Race: Half-elf
Class: Bard
I think Abélard is going to be a bit of a schmoozer amongst the wealthy, and while he might be good at making gold, his history also includes shopping sprees in seedy bars. Like many bards before him, Abélard is on a search for a great subject that will help him compose his masterpiece. Unlike many bards before him, Abélard plays the hurdy-gurdy.

Popping cherries: Breaking in table-top virgins

Let me start off by saying I haven't been playing DND for very long, relatively speaking. In fact, for a majority of my life, I was a closeted roleplayer; making fun of people who played table top games, including public(albeit friendly) verbal tongue lashings of some acquaintances I met along the way. I feel a tad guilty about this, and a few years ago I played DND for the first time. After the first session, I was hooked. This past summer, I tried DMing for the first time. I had a blast, though due to some unfortunate events I had to stop, and eventually move to a place far from my regular gaming crew(s). I remembered the words a friend said to me long ago, "I didn't know anyone who played, so I just got my friends to play." Well, I took his advice, and last week my gaming virgins rolled characters.

Since I am the only one in the entire crew of us who has really played, I've decided to keep things relatively simple and slow. Explaining the rules of that giant bible: AKA the Player's Handbook, can be kind of tough and overwhelming to the fresh bloods. It was not long ago that I was a noob, and I can remember the confusion as if it were yesterday. I have tried to only explain the basics, as to not turn them off from the complexities. (Gaming, like sex, is not good if your prospects are frigid or confused). This was the game-plan for last week, and some rules that I have already set.

First off, we are playing v. 3.5. I never bothered to learn 4e, and from what I have heard/read about it, I'm pretty sure I'm not interested. The bad thing about playing 3.5 is that the books are out of print, and therefore hard to find. I went to Mind Games, the local gaming shop here (I was very psyched to see it was still open, though their website could use a bit of work), and while I couldn't find any PHBs (as you can see, they are selling at Amazon USED for 47 bucks a pop), I did manage to find a 3.5 DMG! Whoohoo! I also went ahead and bought myself a whole bunch of dice. I know that soon enough, my manvirgins will get sets of their own, and there is nothing more inspiring to buy your own than seeing someone else's massive collection! I must be the only lady in the world who uses a makeup pouch to carry her D&D dice... I hope they are going to be able to get their own PHBs, as of right now they are using mine. As for books, I have restricted them to the PHB only, and suggested some good starter classes. I did not restrict alignments, and I have decided that if some of them are fast learners, we can progress into prestige classes. I told them they did not have to tell the other players what their alignment was. However, they decided that it was OK to share.

First off, I had them roll their attributes. Here is how I like to roll them:
You roll four d6. Subtract the smallest roll. Write that number down. Repeat 5 more times. If you like your set, keep it. If you don't like your first set, you discard it, and roll your attributes one more time using the same rules. If you don't like your set after the second roll, you get a third try. However, the third try, you only roll three d6. Whatever the result of that roll is your number. Do that five more times. You do not get to choose between sets of attributes. Once a set is discarded, it is discarded forever. Sometimes this results in low attribute scores. Oh well. Make it work.

So that is what we did. For our first meet, there were four of us total: Andy, Evan, Todd, and me, of course. None of them had exceptionally great rolls. They were mediocre to good. Todd's were average, and he decided to take the gamble and reroll, much to his dismay, and my glee, he ended up with attributes that look like what you see above.

Yes, he rolled a 16, 11, 11, 7, 11, 5. Ho ho ho. All in all, the rolls aren't that bad. 16 is a good score! But might I direct your attention to the Charisma attribute. Yes, that is a negative 4 charisma modifier you see there. See, my friend Todd's character is Alric Anklebiter, the dwarf barbarian. Dwarves get a penalty to their charisma, the sweaty, unattractive mouth-breathers that they are. Needless to say, I am very excited to put this party in fun NPC negotiation situations. So this is what the campaign is going to start with:

Player: Todd
Character name: Alric Anklebiter
Race: Dwarf
Class: Barbarian
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Alric has a troubled past. He and his wife were ambushed by orcs. She was killed, and he fought them all, nearly dying. He was saved by someone, but his face is eternally scarred. He blames Kord for his loss in life, and has decided spend the rest of his life killing, caring not whether he lives or dies.

Player: Evan
Character name: Biff Jesus (pronounced Haysoos)
Race: Human
Class: Sorcerer
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Evan is the least experienced of the crew, and my oldest friend. He at first wanted to be a wizard, but decided on sorcerer because I think it is a great class for a first timer. As long as he gets to carry a fancy sword, dress like a jedi, and kill people, he's gonna have a blast. He's also the only member of the crew to have any charisma abilities, making him he spokesman for the party, and possibly the glue that holds them together.

Player: Andy
Character name: Rick
Race: Human
Class: Ranger
Alignment: Lawful Evil
Lawful Evil Ranger Rick. Andy made an interesting choice right from the beginning, and I think that between Alric and Rick, I'm going to have my hands full with some crazy decision making and interesting party dynamic. Rick also has an unusual backstory going on. He is the surviving man of a conjoined twin. Apparently, they were separated, but part of his twin's brain stayed with Rick. Derg, as his brother is named, often argues with Rick. We're going to have to see where this multiple personality thing is going to go. So much for keeping it simple....

I've been tossing around ideas for a campaign. The first few meets are going to go slowly, and that is to be expected. I read somewhere that I should try a few practice encounters, to show them how combat is going to go. I might do that, but I probably won't. Or, it will be a practice encounter that will count for the overall storyline for the campaign. I'll post more as the campaign progresses. Don't want to give anything away!